Getting a handle

How quickly things can turn around. It's hard to believe how depressed I was just on Friday. I feel like my old self again and I'm excited about life, about the future. I'm learning to cope with struggles and I hope to work extra hard at keeping things in perspective.

I'm thankful for the support I do have from those I see every day and even from fellow moms and bloggers! Thank you so much!

In less than a week, I am starting my master's degree. I am so excited. The nerd in me is really coming out. I'm trying to not think about how I will manage going back to school in addition to working, taking care of Emma and cooking, cleaning. It can be done. Things might not always be perfect, but I'm certainly not the first person to do this. People do it all the time. I'm just excited for this opportunity to expand my professional knowledge and skills.

12-month checkup and updates

Emma did great at the doctor’s office. She received shots and had blood taken, but she only cried for a few seconds! The doctor said she was doing great and developing well. Such a huge relief … not that I didn’t know that already, but it’s always nice to hear it from the doctor.

Stats: She weighs 22 pounds, 6 ounces and was 31 inches tall.

Accomplishments: Walking! She began walking at 10.5 months and has been on the constant go ever since.

Climbing on everything she possibly can. At daycare, she climbed to the top of one of the play structures >> her daycare provided about had a heart attack. We really have to keep a close eye on the stinker!

Eating everything and anything >> she LOVES tomatoes. It’s so cute. We took her out to the garden yesterday and she was eating cherry tomatoes as quick as Denny could hand them to her.

Books >> Emma loves looking at books, but she’s a too impatient for us to actually read them to her. I still do when she is distracted by her milk. J

Drinking milk from a sippy exclusively >> No more bottles. She is such an easy-going kid!

Sleeping in her crib >> We let her cry and the longest she went was an hour and a half the first night. She is really getting the hang of it and I am asking myself why I didn’t let her cry earlier.

Dressing herself >> she loves to put on Denny’s shirts and she constantly tries to put on her shoes.

Talking >> not much coherently. Says dada and sometimes even dad or daddy, DiDi, and dog; refuses to say mama

Hugs >> she gives the best hugs in the world

Tantrums >> throws them at will; she particularly hates to be told “no” … like most people J

I’m sure there is more, but this is all I can think of right now. We love this little girl. I’ve been waking up extra early in the mornings so I can get completely ready before she wakes up. It’s been nice to just hold and cuddle with her before I start my day.

People keep asking when we will have another baby. I really don’t know. Right now we are so happy and content that it isn’t really on our minds. We do hope Emma will be a big sister some day. We have no idea when that day will be and we’re good with that for now.

Monday, Monday

It's not quite 8 a.m. yet and I already feel defeated. This day will get better. Tomorrow will be better. Next week will be better. Next month will be better. Next year will be better.

I have to keep telling myself these things. I don't want to give up on my plan toward financial freedom, professional advancement, a larger family, etc. All in good time!

Emma turned one!

I don't know where the last 12 months went or how it's possible, but our little baby turned one last week.

We celebrated a few times. First on her actual birthday. She got cake a new baby doll at daycare. From Denny and me, she got a pink T-ball set and pink telephone (rotary style).

On Sunday, we had a bigger party with family. She got a lot of toys. Our living room looked like a toy store before I finally got around to finding a place for everything.

She is one very loved little girl! I'm writing down her toys here for memory sake.

• My parents got her a rocking chair and doll
• Denny's dad and Karen got her a doll house/tent, Mickey Mouse, and some smaller things
  
• Debbie got her a Radio Flyer scooter, purse, shoes, shopping cart
• Jenny and Aaron got her a basketball hoop
• Jeremy got her a car, truck, hammer/nail set
• Alicia got her a bouncy pig
• Travis got her a phone
• Bill and Mary got her a John Deere tractor trike
• Jac and Carolyn got her a clock, puzzle and doggie
• Denny's grandparents gave her money.

She is one spoiled (I mean, loved) little girl. I will say it again and again. We are so blessed that so many people came from near and far to celebrate this little life that has blessed us beyond our means.

She loves cake, loves shoes and apparently knows exactly how to wear a purse. Her favorite gift was Mickey Mouse. It was also the first thing she opened. She had zero interest in opening any of the other presents after that.

She wore a tutu and I was able to get some video of her shooting the basketball in her tutu. Will she be an athlete or a ballerina?? Who knows ... probably neither. I really don't care as long as she grows up to be happy and feel love.

I think, in total, Emma had fewer meltdowns than I did throughout the day, which is always good. You see, I made the cakes. I thought I would try to save some money, but now I know that that $20 would have been well spent. They turned out just fine, but I tend to overreact and stress and that's all so silly. Oh well. It certainly tasted good and Jenny said she never noticed me flipping out or anything.

Overall, everything was pretty perfect. Emma has a great support system that reaches far beyond the grasps of Denny and me. I'd say we're all pretty blessed!

Different type of post

Disclaimer: This is not a cheery, Emma post. I need to vent a little and I feel out of options, so blogger, thank you for being my sounding board.

I am stressed out, depressed, disappointed with life. I know I have so many blessings, but right now, all I feel is down. I feel like I can't do anything to please anyone (with the exception of Emma). I think what is most disappointing is that those who I am closest to aren't giving me any support, but rather adding to my stress by making me feel as though I have let them down.

Well, let me tell you, they are letting me down right now. I need help. I need support. I need love. I need comfort.

I'm only human. I can't be everything to everyone. I feel like I have a plan in place to work toward, but the going won't always be easy. Will I have to deal with the low points by myself? I sure hope not, because when I accomplish my goals, I want there to be people to celebrate with me.

I am hoping this passes soon. I don't want to go through life being down, depressed, disappointed.