Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Happy Halloween!

Emma was Dorothy this year! She had the red shoes and all. I was even able to bread her hair and put in blue ribbons. My favorite part? I purchased the costume two summers ago at a garage sale for $2 (I think). It came with the red shoes. I already owned that basket and the blue ribbon was left over from our wedding.

I was able to go to Emma's Halloween party at daycare. It was adorable and a little exhausting, but she said she was happy I was there. Last night we visited Papa's house and then went around one block in Addison. We ended the night at home watching Casper and Debbie came over to give Emma one final goodie bag.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Sweet Emma

I was just thinking about how I haven't written much about my Emma in ages. How is that even possible? She is my life! Denny's mom kept her overnight for us earlier this month and it seemed like the longest night of my life. I just wanted her back! Ha!

Talking
She is talking in full sentences and often says phrases that we don't say regularly ... I think that just shows us that she picks things up quickly. She also will sing parts of songs with us. I try to sing silly songs I remember from childhood, but Denny told me that she will also sing Incubus songs with him.

Potty training
She will still go on the potty, but her excitement is not there anymore. I am hoping to dedicate this weekend to encouraging her more. I certainly don't want to push her, but I think she is ready. I'm looking for the right time to give her the encouragement she needs without pushing her too soon.

Puzzles and books
She loves puzzles! She only has two wooden ones and they aren't challenging in the least anymore. We will probably be purchasing a few for Christmas. As far as books go, she is letting me read her longer books like Berenstein Bears ... we both love it! Her favorite book right now is "Dora's Perfect Pumpkin." She knows parts of the story and loves to say it with me. It's so much fun to read to her ... my favorite part of the day is laying in bed with her at night and reading.

Pretend
For a long time, Emma has loved playing with her dolls and her food, kitchen, etc. Last night, she told us she was a puppy. She crawled around, asked us for bones and all. Again, I have no idea where she picked it up, but it was so adorable.

On becoming a big sister
I think Emma is going to be such a great sister. Last night she was sitting next to me on the couch and she kept kissing and "face hugging" my belly and saying, "baby brother." I'm sure there might be some jealously issues and whatnot, but she is such an affectionate little girl and I just know she will do great.

Helping
This little lady loves to help with dishes and wiping down counters, tables, etc. It is so adorable. I really hope this continues into her older years. A little help now and then would be amazing!

I'm sure there is more I should document, but I can't think of more right now.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Weekend plans

Our weekends are usually quite packed. I often get together with my sister or try to catch up on cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. This weekend my sister is out of town and part of the house is halfway clean. Denny and I found ourselves wondering what we would do. He will probably try to go hunting weather-permitting, but he came up with a great plan this morning that I hope to add to: let's make a turkey! Love it!

Other tasks I would like to accomplish:

  • Carve a pumpkin with Emma
  • Make an apple pie from scratch
  • Build a fort with Emma
  • Encourage her to use the potty more
  • Start organizing the house for Thanksgiving company and baby boy
I have to admit that this might not sound like a lot of fun, but I am super excited for this weekend! The best part--I can choose to do all or none of it ... these are just some options. I'm really looking forward to a relaxing weekend with our cozy little family!

22 weeks

I have been meaning to update this blog for so long. My pregnancy is going well even though I have been having these unrealistic nightmares about having complications for some reason. With that said, I am thankful for each day, which is never a bad thing! Today I am 22 weeks pregnant and truly feeling pretty good. Of course, I am writing this post at 3:19 a.m. because I can't sleep right now, but I haven't had a ton of these nights, so I am just rolling with it. I got some homework done and at least I am being productive even if it's not by getting my much-needed sleep.

On to the exciting stuff! I had an ultrasound on Oct. 7. And we found out that my instincts were dead on again - we're having a BOY! I am so excited, but I honestly can't imagine that my excitement would have been any different had I found out it was a girl. I think I'm just happy that I get to know a little more about this sweet little baby who is squirming around in my stomach.

At the ultrasound, the baby kept moving his arm up and down, so we would see it move in and out of the picture. It was so amazing! Everything checked out fine with my appointment as well. The midwife actually told me to take half a Tylenol PM if I can't sleep ... the problem is that I never remember to actually pick up the pills when I am at the store ... I only remember in the wee hours of night. Oh well! I will actually write in on my next shopping list ... if I remember!

Everyone has two questions for us: What are we naming this baby and will we be done after this one. The first I expected, the second question is totally throwing me off. I have no idea! I haven't even delivered this baby and people actually expect me to have my mind made up about whether or not we will have another. That's just crazy! Ha!

As for the name, Denny likes Colt ... I'm not sold on the name, but he did let me name Emma. A part of me just wants to say, you can name this baby - your turn. The thought of making this difficult decision is making me nervous ... so mostly, I try not to think of it!


Okay, that's all I think of right now. I will try to be better about documetning this pregnancy and my life! This is my 20 week belly picture.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Not complaining

I'm totally not complaining, but if I was, it would be about the crazy cramps I have been having for the past 18 hours or so ... and probably about my sleeping issues, too. Good thing I'm not complaining! :)

It's funny to me because I just don't remember having these issues before, and even though my midwife told me there would be pains that would be much different this time around, I am getting a little freaked out. Luckily, I read a little online and it sounds like round-ligament pain, which is really common at this stage. Huge sigh of relief!

Two days from now, Denny and I will get to see this little baby! I am really getting excited!! I keep thinking boy for sure ... I hope I'm right, but if not, I know I will love having another girl!! I'm also mostly hoping for a healthy baby.

I need to take a belly shot ... tomorrow I will be 19 weeks, and I haven't taken a single photo. It probably has something to do with the fact that I feel huge (even though I know I'm really not ... not yet anyway), and I find it really hard to get dressed in the morning because it seems like the clothes that fit me correctly are very limited right now. I'm at that weird in-between belly phase. I know it will pass soon and I really will be big. Good thing I don't have anything to complain about this morning!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Pregnancy induced insomnia

It's 3:36 a.m. and I am wide awake ... this is just the second night it has happened so far, but I am so fearful that it will continue. For some reason, if wake up to use the bathroom, I can't go back to sleep. I never had this problem when I was pregnant with Emma. I really hate it! I highly value my sleep.

I decided to get up and come into the living room rather than tossing in bed until my alarm goes off in a few hours. At least I will feel a little accomplished by blogging and checking email and reading some for my class.

This is a pretty exciting week in this pregnancy. We are looking forward to the ultrasound on Friday afternoon. I am so excited to see the baby, and, if I'm being honest, I'm a little anxious to find out if the baby is doing well. I haven't had any complications, so I am prayerfully hoping for a healthy report, but I think it's normal to have some anxiety until I know for sure.

Now I'm going to rest my eyes and see if I can dose off for a little while ... come on sleep!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

17 weeks

Thursdays are my ... "I made it another week" days. Do others who are pregnant or have children think that way? So today marks 17 weeks. Where is the time going?

I am feeling really great lately. There are some aches and pains here and there ... mostly in my back, but overall, there is no way I can complain. I have been eating a ton lately ... it seems like I can't get enough. I'm so nervous to go for my next checkup. I don't want to gain too much. I have wedding just three months after this baby is due. And it's not just any wedding, it's Jenny's!

I keep waiting for a definite feeling of the baby moving, but so far, I am just speculating that I feel him/her every once in a great moon, and to me, that doesn't count. I know the time will come, so I am okay with that.

Lately, my thoughts have been consumed with thinking through moving Emma out of her room and into the bigger room. This will take some time because we have a lot of stuff in there, and we'll need to figure out what to do with everything, but my goal is to have Emma all set up in her new room before Christmas. Then, I will focus on the nursery, which should be easy since we are using the same bedding and everything!

I know this is silly to say at this point, but I am still shocked that I am having another baby. Happily shocked!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Emma turned two!

Exactly one month ago today, my sweet little baby turned two! My parents came for the weekend and on Sunday, we threw a smallish party for her with our families and couple close friends.

We went with a princess theme. She loved the balloon Jenny picked out for her. She did great blowing out her candles and opening her presents. It was a very fun day and celebration of such a sweet girl!

Some of her favorite gifts were shoes, baby doll car seat, pack-n-play and bed and clothes!

Today, I took her for her two-year checkup. She is still very tall ... 37.5 inches (97th percentile), and she weighs 30.4 pounds (80th percentile). I don't remember about her head measurements, but she got a clean bill of health.

At two, Emma can count to nine ... then she goes back to two and counts to nine ... she will do this over and over again. She also talks in full sentences and other people can understand her.

She also loves to pretend ... she puts her baby dolls to bed, feeds them, cleans them, etc. She also loves to color and read. Her little personality is coming out more and more and I love it!

She is really getting interested in potty training, but that deserves a post all to itself, which I promise to write soon.

I'm really looking forward to what the next year holds for Emma. She makes me so proud and happy!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

An update on life

After I miscarried in May, I was so sad. As each day passed and I saw sweet Emma and all the blessings in my life, I felt much better about things. I knew our day would come to welcome another child if that was what was meant to be.

With that in mind, I waited for my period. I waited and waited and waited. I took a pregnancy test on day 28 ... it was negative. So I waited two more days and retested.

I was shocked to see that familiar double line. I had no idea it would happen so soon, but I was elated for about a week. Then I began to panic a little. What was I thinking? What if I miscarried again? You know, all the crazy thoughts my mind could conjure up.

I went to the doctor around what I was guessing to be the eight-week mark. My visit was horrible. They didn't give me a pregnancy test and said they wouldn't call this a pregnancy until an ultrasound could confirm it. All of this was probably logical to the medical professionals, but I was angry. Luckily, I was able to go in for an ultrasound two days later.

It was a very brief appointment. The technician immediatly pulled up the image of my sweet little baby. His/her heartbeat was in the 160s and she gave me a due date of March 1 ... one day off what I had estimated.

Today, I am 16 weeks and everything seems to be going okay. I have another ultrasound scheduled for Oct. 7, and we are excited to see the baby and find out the sex.

I have so much more to update about Emma and life in general, but I wanted to get this done first. I am busy trying to get the spare room ready for Emma and figure out how our lives will change in the winter/spring. We are so excited!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Loss

Last week ended much different than how it began. On Friday, May 20, I went home and took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I wasn't super excited at first ... I was more afraid ... of what Denny would think, of how we would afford it, etc. Once I told Denny, his excitement rubbed off on me, and my mind started planning. I began to think about things I wanted to do before January, things we would want to look for at garage sales, etc.

Last Wednesday, I started spotting and it quickly turned to heavier blood. Since then I have cried a lot, but I have also counted my blessings. Perhaps most importantly, I am hopeful for the future. I am hopeful that one day Emma will become a big sister.

As I recover emotionally, I'm trying to figure out what my body is going through. After cramping and other usual symptoms, I was pretty okay by Saturday. Very early yesterday morning I woke up with a lot of pain in my back and an urgency to run to the bathroom. The pain then felt like it was pulsing through to my rib cage ... very similar to the gallstone attack I had a year and a half ago. Since I no longer have a gallbladder, that concerned me.

I went to my doctor yesterday and she wasn't sure ... she thought maybe it was food poisoning, but she also wants me to have an ultrasound. That is scheduled for tomorrow morning. I hope it was just food poisoning. I am ready to move on emotionally, and I am so hopeful that some day I will be able to make Emma a big sister.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Easter 2011



This was one of the best Easters in my life. It ranks right up there with the one when I had chicken pox and got to spend the whole day with my mom ... when I had her all to myself!

On Good Friday, Emma slept in a little and I was able to work on one final paper I needed to turn in. Once she got up, I put the laptop and all of my books away to enjoy the morning with her. Unfortunately, Denny had to work, but Emma and I enjoyed the morning.

Since the weather was crummy, Denny came home before lunch, which worked out great. Jeremy and Jenny came over to hang out and play with Emma. I was able to finish my paper that night. On Saturday, Emma and I ran errands and then played outside for a while with Denny. That night, we died Easter eggs. I could not remember the last time I did that, but it was fun. Eventually, we are called it a night.

I woke up early on Sunday to play Easter bunny before church. Emma loved finding the eggs in the living room and looking through her basket. We then made it to church early! We were able to get a pew big enough for Debbie, Mike, Makayla, Alicia and Luke. Emma was a little angel and we were all able to enjoy the entire mass.

Afterward, everyone came over for brunch and another egg hunt for Emma. After everyone left, Denny went fishing while Emma and I took a nap. It was perfect! We missed my parents and brothers, but hopefully next year we can all be together!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Pre-Easter celebration

For about month, my mantra has been "just make it to Easter." I knew if I could balance all of my responsibilities, I would be able to enjoy Easter and a much-needed break.

I made it! I finished my last paper on Friday night/Saturday morning, and now I am free from classes until May 16. I'm so happy to have five more credits done. I also know that I will probably not take two classes at the same time again. It was a lot ... I was very burnt out.

On Saturday morning, Emma and I ran to Jackson to pick up some groceries and whatnot. I scored a body wash for Denny for $.04 ... yeah, four cents. I was so excited. It's a far cry from the extreme couponers featured on TV, but I'll take what I can get. I also saved another $16 with coupons at Meijer ... that's almost five gallons of gas. Okay, I'm done, but I was happy!

On my way home, I called my sister to tell her to sign up for Meijer Perks. We were just chatting when she asked what I had planned for the afternoon. I said probably some cleaning and getting ready for Easter. She told me she was pretty sure I was running on "mommy energy" ... I didn't think much of it. But, I think she was right. On Sunday, after church and a wonderful brunch, Emma and I took a two-hour nap. I woke up and was still so tired. That was the first nap I have taken in so long. It was the perfect treat for making it to Easter.

I will write about Easter and my one class, which has done so much good for my soul soon.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

HOME.fm


Emma now fits into the cute little T-shirt Rachel from HOME.fm sent me while I was pregnant! I snapped a few pictures of her yesterday afternoon.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Long time coming

I don't remember the last time I wrote on here, but I am guessing about 12 weeks ago? I'm in week 12 of 13 for one class, and week 3 of 4 for another. I can see the light! I still have a lot of work to complete, but it's manageable.

Last week I had a breakdown at work. I think I need to pick a career where I can work mostly from home or something because no matter how hard I try or how much I prepare, people still have the ability to make me lose it. I hate this about myself to a point. I'm just super sensitive. Sometimes it backfires, but sometimes it helps me relate to others ... emphathize, etc.

For as long as I can remember, this is how I've been wired. Apparently when I was very small (maybe Emma's age), I told my dad that he hurt my feelings. There's no doubt he did although it was probably something very minor. Emma shares my sensitivity.

The episode that happened last week partially warranted a breakdown. A very false accusation was made against me. I'm lucky to have a boss who doesn't overreact (like I do!) and was able to figure out what happened, which was nothing that I did wrong, in fact. In the end, I received multiple apologies. I am still a little shaken.

I think I need a better way to relieve stress. I'm super busy right now and as much as I would like to think I do everything all the time, I can't. On Saturday, Emma and I ran a lot of errands and returned home just as it was getting nice out, so we played! After a while, I got out Emma's stroller and we walked for 30 minutes. I thought, why don't make time for this every day?? Thirty minutes is not a lot and I can do a variety of activities ... so, I'm trying to work out EVERY day for 30 minutes or more. Yesterday, we walked again and then worked in the yard. I am hoping this excitement will help me relieve some stress, feel better physically and give some energy.

That's all I have time for right now! I promise to return soon!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Month 18

Emma turned 18 months while we were visiting my brother and his family in Baton Rouge. Sadly, she had an ear infection, but she still played with her cousins and had a wonderful time.

I cannot believe how much she has changed in the past couple of months. She looks more like a little girl than a baby these days with her long hair. She is talking so much more. We have conversations now. They go like this:

I ask, "Emma, did you have fun today?"

Emma responds, "Yeah."

"Emma can I have a hug?"

"No."

Seriously, I love this little girl. She tries to say almost anything we ask her.

The doctor said she was ahead in the speech development, which was good to hear. Luckily, I haven't been as nervous about her speech in quite some time.

Also last month, she started to show interest in using her potty. So far, she has gone peepee three or four times, and number two once. We're not pushing it, but I'm so proud of her!

Her stats: 33 inches (90th percentile), 25 pounds, 10 ounces (75th percentile). She has stayed in these ranges since pretty early on, so that another relief. She doesn't have to go back for a regular checkup until she is two!

Some of Emma's favorite things include books, coloring, taking care of her babies and playing with her little people sets. She likes to wrap her babies in blankets, put diapers on them and give them a bottle or pacifer. It's adorable!

I'm looking forward to watching her grow and learn many more things in the months and years to come! I'm so lucky to be her mommy.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

On "wearing sunscreen"


Today I am emotional. If I didn’t know better, I would certainly guess a small miracle was growing within me. I’m filled with hope that borders on confusion and frustration with the state of things far beyond my reach. Things like gas prices and the longstanding consequences of past decisions by others. Yes, by others.

After volleyball last night, I was talking with my friends about the rising cost of gas. It made me worry. It made me think of “Wear Sunscreen.” The words to this editorial-turned-song came out during an important season in my life, and I will never forget it. I will likely continue to refer back to it until something better, something more profound is written. I was sure there was a line in there about the rising cost of gas, but it was just about rising costs in general. Disappointing in itself.

I didn’t get enough time with Emma this morning. This recurring feeling is there every Thursday morning. I love playing volleyball, forgetting about the cost of gas and all the other unnecessary troubles that are giving me permanent forehead lines. But I also know that I can’t freeze time. And I don’t want to forget those moments when she runs down the hallway as fast as she can to see her daddy. Or the conversations we have where I ask her a question and she responds, “no,” or “yeah.” We can talk forever it seems, and I am so in love with her.

So, yeah (I wonder where Emma gets her poor grammar!), “Wear sunscreen” made me think of other things like valuing this time and NOT worrying for worry sake. The real nightmares come when we least expect them—so true!

Here is my hope. I want to enjoy life right now. I want to take more photos and laugh more so these memories fade more slowly.

I want to rejoice in today without thinking about how I afford to drive to work five days a week when gas hits $5/gallon or when we need to plan for another baby so Emma will have playmate and lifelong friend. I like us. I love where we’re at right now. I know I will also like the future us and where we are then, but, for now, I will rejoice in the sunshine and I will ask Emma simple questions and love our “conversations.”

I will continue to sneak peaks of her snuggled up with Denny and secretly love the delay mechanism she employs each morning by refusing to leave his arms to get dressed.

The hope in my heart will not be overtaken by the cost of gas or the poor decisions of others or anything else. Oh, and I will continue to wear sunscreen.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Proud wife

A year ago, I got the surprising news that Denny and Chad (BIL) took second (out of 150 teams) in one of the biggest fishing tournaments in the Midwest. It was so great! They scouted the lake and put in a lot of time to compete ... it paid off!

Fast forward to the 2011 tournament. Denny was discouraged. The tournament was on Clark Lake, which is where Denny always used to fish when we lived on Reed Road, but the reports were consistently saying no one was catching fish ... including Denny.

I tried to convince him that it didn't matter how he did ... to just have fun. Ha! Well, they had one trick up their sleeves. Denny had logged a location where he has caught fish in past years. They decided not to fish it before the tournament because they didn't want anyone else to catch on.

Last night, I asked Denny if they planned to try that spot, and he said that was where they planned to start. It worked! BUT, another team got to the the same location as them. Apparently these guys stumbled onto the spot a week or so ago. Those other guys, they won the tournament. Denny and Chad took sixth. Mostly, I'm proud of his attitude. Well, I'm so happy they finished in the top 10 as well!

He knows that if those guys had not lucked out and found that spot, they would have caught even more fish there, but he is happy with how the day went. I am so honored to be married to someone who is a good sport, who understands that life is more than competition, but who still loves to play the game. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense right now. It's kind of hard to express the type of man he is through this example ... I'm just happy and proud today!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Breaking out the reading glasses and highlighters

I started another class for my master's program. I am happy to be back at it. I am also happy that there is not much busy work in this class ... actually there is none! We discuss and write papers. I think I'm in heaven. There is a lot of reading to go along with it, though. I am hoping to tackle most of the reading this weekend while Emma sleeps ... we'll see how that goes! I might be up late reading.

Last night I stayed up well past my bedtime to work on class stuff. I also wasted way too much time watching IU beat Illinois and just browsing online. Even though it was hard to get up this morning, I loved that alone time.

I am really looking forward to this semester! There are only six people in my class ... all women. Four were in my class last semester, so it's nice to see some familiar names. I am also helping with a research project. I am hoping I can juggle everything and continue to enjoy the late night alone time I spend working on class stuff!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Loneliness

A few songs have been running through my head this week ... my thoughts have been drifting between loneliness and just bucking down and dealing with life one moment at a time.

My high school track coach once told me that when I run the 800, I should put my head down heading into the third curve because that is really where I had to dig deep to make sure I finished strong. Ever since then, whenever life has seemed hard, I always envision myself rounding that curve with my head down with the song, "Against the Wind," going through my head.

Lately, I feel like I have been running too many races, and I'm growing so tired of the same disappointments.

I've been thinking a lot about the people I am surrounding myself with ... during the week, it is mostly coworkers ... I go to work, I come home to Emma, and eventually, Denny. But, Denny and I rarely talk these days. He is too obsessed with getting online to look for good areas to try ice fishing or strategizing with his brother on the phone. Luckily, the tournament they are stressing over is this weekend. I might get him back ... we'll see.

Any way, the only other people I get to see are the wonderful women I play volleyball with on Wednesdays. Those ladies have done more good for my heart than I ever could have imagined. They all have families and are busy, but they go out of their way to help others, to check up on friends, to make meals for sick friends, etc. I love them! They make me want to be a better person. They make me question how I could help others. They never dwell on their own hardships.

I love them ... they make me question why I continue to do the same things when I consistently find myself down. Today, I just want to start fresh. And, I don't want to go at it alone. I want positive, supportive people in my life who challenge me out of love.

Tonight I was supposed to have dinner with my brother and sister, but we delayed it because of the snow. I felt absolutely crushed. They are good people who always have supportive advice, I could use more of them in my life. We need to plan a weekly meal together. I am also going to insist that Denny and I go out on a date once this tournament is over. I know he cares even when his head is somewhere else.

I am hoping to the courage to make some changes in my life ... even if they are big and scary and seem daunting. I want to feel alive and excited. I want to be an encouragement to those around me. I will get there.

I will ... I'm "still running ..."

Friday, January 21, 2011

Mommy worry

I was talking with a friend this morning who has sons that are quite a bit older than Emma. Her youngest just turned 10. I asked her, already knowing, you never stop worrying about your kids, do you?

She confirmed.

Last night Emma just wasn't herself. She kept waking up screaming and contorting her little body. There could be a million reasons for this ... lack of sleep, hunger, thirst, sore throat, new teeth coming in, etc. But what have I been thinking all morning? Did she somehow swallow one of the balloons that was on the butterfly balloon animal they gave her at daycare?

Like an idiot, I let Emma hold the butterfly as I drove home from daycare yesterday ... all two miles. I never heard a pop, but when I got Emma out of her car seat, I noticed she had pulled the antenna balloon out and I questioned if there had been two. These balloons are at least 12 inches long, so even if she had gotten it in her mouth and tried to swallow it, I would have heard her struggle or I would have heard the balloon pop (I think any way).

The Internet is not helpful. It just makes me feel like the worst mom in the world. I actually called daycare to check on Emma and share my concerns. It's not very likely that anything of the sort happened or even could have, so why do I always go to the worst-case scenario? I asked her daycare provider if she remembered how many balloons made up the animal, but she really couldn't. She kind of calmed my worst fears by talking me through the above rationale. And she assured me they would keep a close eye on Emma.

In all honesty, I am still considering taking her in for an X-ray. Am I crazy? Will I always be the crazy, worrisome mom? I know God is in control and will protect her, but I also know that some children have died from balloon swallowing. It's a hard thing to juggle ... worry, that is.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Coming to a close …

My break from class, that is. I am little bummed. I have really grown accustomed to some free time … to keeping the house a little cleaner and reading books and watching TV. But, I am excited to learn again and get closer to my master’s.

In preparation for this class, my new instructor sent us the syllabus this week. I have already skimmed it, and I will read it a little more thoroughly this weekend. I also read my first week’s assignments, and I don’t think it should take anywhere near 15-20 hours. That makes me happy. I am hoping to get a little ahead on my reading so I can stay on top of things.

I am also going to do a little extra research to help with a book my former professor is co-writing. I know that will add a lot (or maybe only a little each week) of extra work, but I think it will be a great learning experience. Especially as I consider pursuing a Ph.D. some day. Who knows, right?

During my last free weekend for a while, I am planning on cleaning, playing with Emma, cooking and just enjoying be a mom. Next week, I get to enjoy being a student, as well.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

False alarm

Emma will not be a big sister in September. This baby would have been due on our anniversary. For the first time in many, many months, I was a little disappointed. Usually I feel relief during this time of the month.

I didn't realize how much I wanted another baby. Maybe it's time to actually start thinking about another baby. Who knows. Then again, I have felt very overwhelmed on more than one occassion this weekend. I even considered calling my sister to see if she could watch Emma for a few hours just to give me some relief. Instead, I made Emma lay down for a much-needed nap. I am sure that once she wakes up, we will both be happier.

Now, I am trying to find some motivation to either work out or do some work-work. Both need to be done. I think I'll go for the workout first. Maybe it will motivate me to get more done and maybe it will make me a little happier. We'll see.

For now, I will continue to enjoy my sweetie.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Relinquishing control

Sometimes it takes a big whack in the face to be reminded who is really in control.

About six years ago, I was driving home on a January afternoon. Denny and I were freshly engaged, and I was living in the Reed Road house with a couple of friends. I had to run to Meijer after work, so I was driving home on 127 when I got the scare of my life.

I hadn't realized there was black ice, and my car started to fishtail. My car then turned into the next lane and I closed my eyes because I really didn't want to see myself crash.

As corny as this is going to sound, Jesus definitely took the wheel.

My car passed both lanes, the medium and the other two lanes, but I safely stopped on the curb completing a perfect 180. I was even able to drive right back on the road, take an exit and get back on way home.

It was the first time I actually felt God communicating with me ... letting me know everything would work out. There was so much hurt going on within me at that time due to what my family was going through, and I really needed that wake-up call.

Fast forward ...

Lately I have worrying a lot about our finances. We are doing fine. I just want to have more of a cushion ... just in case.

I just don't think God works in "just in case" situations. He just takes care of us no matter what, right?

So, anyway, right after Christmas, I picked up some much needed medication late. Who knew Target's Pharmacy closed at 7 p.m. during the week?

Lately, I have been feeling off ... super tired, crampy, irritable, etc.

I am wondering if this is God's way of saying, you think you can't afford your life as it is? Ha! Let's throw in another baby! Who knows ... I'm actually very much at peace and would be absolutely thrilled to have another baby.

I should know more by Friday ... when I will go to the store for a test if needed.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

2011 resolutions

I am hesitant to place definite terms on my resolutions this year. I think this is the time in my life when I really need to take control. Stop saying things and thinking, at least my intentions are good. Intentions are not enough. Action is what speaks volumes ... so my resolutions will now be a list of more and less ...

This year I hope to ...

+ Read more
- Eat less (junk)
+ Exercise more
+ Write more
+ Kiss more
- Mope less
- Spend less
- Consume less
+ Drink more (water)
- Watch less (tv)
+ Play more (with Emma)
+ Laugh more
+ Visit more (with family and friends)
+ Plan more
+ Cook more
+ Clean more
+ Show appreciation more

Wow ... that is quite the list! It looks a little daunting, but I am hoping to just take one day at time, and if I have an off day, I will just start over the next morning.

So far, this year has been pretty great. I think every year from now on will feel the same to me. 2011 has filled me with a special kind of hope for the future!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

No plumber needed here

After I gave Emma a bath on Thursday night, I could not get the drain plug to pop up to release the water. I kept pushing on it as hard as I could, but nothing would get it to pop, so I just left it. Denny tried to push on it later (after all, he's about 100x stronger than me) ... not even he could get it.

On Friday morning, I was a little desperate, so I took a shower standing in Emma's bath water from the night before ... it was freezing!

By Saturday morning, I decided I needed to take action. Denny was gone, so I got a screwdriver and took off the cap thingy and tried to wiggle it, still nothing. I then took a wire hanger and jammed it down as far as I could until the plug popped up enough for me to pry it open. I pulled it all the way out and got more than I bargained for in the form of a huge hair clump. I must shed more than any animal none to man.

I felt pretty accomplished. Emma got to take a bath and I got to shower without standing in a tub of water. It was a good day!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Parenting

I've been up since 2 a.m. Emma has a fever ... the thermometer (under the arm) got to 102 before Emma made me stop taking it. She is uncomfortable and it stinks!

Right now I am awake thinking about all of the things I need to do at work today. I am supposed to make a big announcement today, and with that comes several elements - an email, posting a news release with images, sending out a news release to media, etc. There are also a couple other projects I really wanted to finish. I am going to wait another hour and a half and hopefully drive in, schedule all of these things and get back home before Denny has to leave for work.

Sickness never comes when it's convenient. Mostly, I'm just disappointed because Emma finally started to feel better last week when she was home with me. On her second day back at daycare she got a fever.

I am hoping she starts feeling better and can get plenty of rest. In the meantime, I think I'll take advantage of this extra cuddling!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Christmas 2010


Better late than never? No, but it will have to do in this case!

Our Christmas was great! Hectic, of course, but well worth the exhaustion.

My parents, brother, sister and her boyfriend came over on the 23rd. We celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve by lounging, cooking food, going to the children's mass (Emma lasted about 25 minutes ... not bad) and opening presents.

On Christmas morning, I got up at 5:30 to get showered and all ready for when Emma awoke. I waited. Denny got up and started breakfast. We waited some more. We were anticipating Emma crying to let us know she was awake (she was asleep on our bed). Instead, the little stinker ran into the kitchen! It was great! Denny then carried her into the living room where she spotted her new slide instantly! It was so much fun! She then opened her sled, doll, coloring books, books and pajamas.

We then headed to Debbie's where we ate more food, opened more presents, took more pictures and just relaxed for a few hours ... before heading to Dennis'.

We again ate, opened gifts and visited before heading home to enjoy dinner with my parents and Jeremy before they left.

It was exhausting ... the kind of exhausting that doesn't feel exhausting until you sit down and realize just how tired you are! We were all tired. It was a great time!

Monday, January 3, 2011

2010 in review

January

  • Denny began another year with the Nature Conservancy (fourth?)
  • Had my gallbladder removed
  • Denny and Chad came in second place in a big fishing tournament

February

  • Visited Grandma one last time
  • My first-owned car died
  • Emma was baptized

March

  • After 19 years, Grandma joined Grandpa in heaven

April

  • Denny turned 28
  • Spent Easter in Indiana where Emma met her cousins for the first time
  • Purchased the Equinox (or secured the loan, rather)
  • Started playing in a volleyball league (met some amazing women and enjoy this evening each week)


May

  • Got sick, spent two weeks in bed
  • Realized how amazing my families are as they took care of Emma and me since Denny was out of town working during most of these days


June

  • Celebrated our first year as homeowners (we didn’t really celebrate, but it’s exciting)
  • Started my seventh year as an employee of SAU


July

  • Hosted a Fourth of July party
  • Emma started walking
  • Went camping for the first since Emma’s birth – challenging? You better believe it!


August

  • My best friend moved back to Michigan
  • Emma turned one (where did the year go?)
  • Threw a bridal shower for Alicia


September

  • Started my master’s degree
  • Celebrated five years of marriage
  • Alicia and Luke got married


October

  • I turned 29
  • Emma was a gnome for Halloween … she trick-or-treated at Grandpa Tison’s


November

  • Went to Indiana for Thanksgiving for the first time since our marriage … finally!

December

  • Finished my first master’s class … excited to continue!
  • Celebrated Christmas with my family on Christmas Eve and Denny’s families on Christmas
  • Rang out 2010 at home surrounded by lots of family and friends … Emma woke up for the ball drop

I am still happy to see 2010 come to a close, but as I look at this month-by-month list of events, I can’t help but smile. I am truly blessed and surrounded by caring, loving people. I have a beautiful, healthy daughter and a loving husband who I get to go home to every night. We have a beautiful home to keep us warm and reliable vehicles … more than enough food. We truly are blessed and excited to see what 2011 holds.