Month 18

Emma turned 18 months while we were visiting my brother and his family in Baton Rouge. Sadly, she had an ear infection, but she still played with her cousins and had a wonderful time.

I cannot believe how much she has changed in the past couple of months. She looks more like a little girl than a baby these days with her long hair. She is talking so much more. We have conversations now. They go like this:

I ask, "Emma, did you have fun today?"

Emma responds, "Yeah."

"Emma can I have a hug?"

"No."

Seriously, I love this little girl. She tries to say almost anything we ask her.

The doctor said she was ahead in the speech development, which was good to hear. Luckily, I haven't been as nervous about her speech in quite some time.

Also last month, she started to show interest in using her potty. So far, she has gone peepee three or four times, and number two once. We're not pushing it, but I'm so proud of her!

Her stats: 33 inches (90th percentile), 25 pounds, 10 ounces (75th percentile). She has stayed in these ranges since pretty early on, so that another relief. She doesn't have to go back for a regular checkup until she is two!

Some of Emma's favorite things include books, coloring, taking care of her babies and playing with her little people sets. She likes to wrap her babies in blankets, put diapers on them and give them a bottle or pacifer. It's adorable!

I'm looking forward to watching her grow and learn many more things in the months and years to come! I'm so lucky to be her mommy.

On "wearing sunscreen"

Today I am emotional. If I didn’t know better, I would certainly guess a small miracle was growing within me. I’m filled with hope that borders on confusion and frustration with the state of things far beyond my reach. Things like gas prices and the longstanding consequences of past decisions by others. Yes, by others.

After volleyball last night, I was talking with my friends about the rising cost of gas. It made me worry. It made me think of “Wear Sunscreen.” The words to this editorial-turned-song came out during an important season in my life, and I will never forget it. I will likely continue to refer back to it until something better, something more profound is written. I was sure there was a line in there about the rising cost of gas, but it was just about rising costs in general. Disappointing in itself.

I didn’t get enough time with Emma this morning. This recurring feeling is there every Thursday morning. I love playing volleyball, forgetting about the cost of gas and all the other unnecessary troubles that are giving me permanent forehead lines. But I also know that I can’t freeze time. And I don’t want to forget those moments when she runs down the hallway as fast as she can to see her daddy. Or the conversations we have where I ask her a question and she responds, “no,” or “yeah.” We can talk forever it seems, and I am so in love with her.

So, yeah (I wonder where Emma gets her poor grammar!), “Wear sunscreen” made me think of other things like valuing this time and NOT worrying for worry sake. The real nightmares come when we least expect them—so true!

Here is my hope. I want to enjoy life right now. I want to take more photos and laugh more so these memories fade more slowly.

I want to rejoice in today without thinking about how I afford to drive to work five days a week when gas hits $5/gallon or when we need to plan for another baby so Emma will have playmate and lifelong friend. I like us. I love where we’re at right now. I know I will also like the future us and where we are then, but, for now, I will rejoice in the sunshine and I will ask Emma simple questions and love our “conversations.”

I will continue to sneak peaks of her snuggled up with Denny and secretly love the delay mechanism she employs each morning by refusing to leave his arms to get dressed.

The hope in my heart will not be overtaken by the cost of gas or the poor decisions of others or anything else. Oh, and I will continue to wear sunscreen.