May 17: Part 1

Saturday was such a full day that I think it justifies a two-part post. I have anticipated this day for so long, but I had no idea how the emotions would hit me.

To start with, I was so excited for my family to come into town, but on Friday I found out some sad news. It's certainly not the end of the world, but I think a person can only take so much change before it starts getting to her. I found out that the daycare provider for kids is selling her daycare. The good news is that she plans to stay on as an assistant. I don't know more details yet, but that news set me into a crying episofe. Yuck!

I cleaned the house and got everything busy for our hectic Saturday. I woke extra early on Saturday remembering that I had forgotten to wash Emma's tights. I got up and hand-washed them and then started getting everything together.

We went to a small breakfast the department hosted before the ceremony. The kids ate a ton, and we visited a little. I was able to meet the graduate from the program (we had a few classes together), so that was great. We then headed to the gym. My cap was huge. It kept falling off my head, but otherwise, everything went well.

The moment we started walking into the gym, I started crying. I think it just hit me, but I got it together and was fine. I was the second one to walk across the stage. Afterward, it took a while to find everyone. Jenny and mom snapped a couple quick photos and then we booked it to Emma's dance recital (part 2 coming soon).

I thought the culmination of this degree would jump start a new career path, but these days I find myself wondering if I am focusing on the right thing. Right now, my family is most important to me, so is it the right time to jump into attaining a promotion or new job (all hypothetical ... nothing is in the works)? Should I step back and learn how to be content (from a professional standpoint) until my kids are little older? I don't have the answers. I have been praying that the right door opens or that I find comfort in my current role, but only time will tell.

In the meantime, I had a wonderful weekend celebrating this milestone with my family. They were amazing, but I will write more about that in my new post.

Tough lessons

This morning as we pulled up to daycare, Emma saw another child through the window and said, "Oh, I hate it when 'Simon' is here." Yikes! What???

I had a little talk with her about being nice to everyone and treating them as she would want to be treated. I think a part of her is envious because her best friend plays with "Simon."

As we talked, she said some things that made me believe she is partially reacting to the feelings of others. Emma is an observer. She takes it all in and remembers everything.

This morning was another eye-opener for me. I need to say and act in the manner I want Emma to behave ... always. Never would I think that Emma has a mean bone in her body, but she sees how people—people she respects—act and talk, and she responds.

This parenting gig is harder than I thought! My kids continue to teach me more and more everyday.

My kids are pretty amazing

We have never been one of those "schedule" families. (not that there's anything wrong with those families) We are just busy and need to go with the flow more often than I would like, but my kids are so amazing. They go with the flow. Sure, there are some occasional fits, but I am learning so much from them.

It's Wednesday, but it definitely feels like it should be Friday. I had to go out of town on Sunday for work. I got home around 9:30 p.m. on Monday night.

On Tuesday, we all got up and went to work and daycare. After work, I picked up the kids and took Emma to ballet (her last class of the year!). After that, we rushed home. I made the kids a quick dinner (thank goodness they love PB&J), and we all had to get ready to go take pictures for the church directory. Denny had a work meeting at 5:30, so we were waiting for him in the car. He got home just in time to make it.

We got home around 9 p.m. and got ready for bed. This morning, though, the kids were so good and fun. Emma insisted on getting up by herself (I usually carry her into the living room). She then insisted on taking Leonardo in the car. As I dragged the trash down for pick-up, she worked on buckling him in. It was just a great morning, and I am so thankful for resilient children.

Failing miserably

Tonight after I yelled at the kids, Emma, my sweet 4-year-old, cried and told me I wasn't myself. I need to get a grip. I was upset about a work email. I need to invest way less (of my heart) in my 9-to-5 and much more in my sweeties. My heart is aching.

Planting trees

One of my distinct memories from when we moved into our home nearly five years ago was Denny's sentiment regarding the number of trees on our property. No, I don't recall the number (maybe 68?), but he counted them all and remarked about what a pain it would be to mow around and trim them. Not that he didn't love the trees. He is a nature guy.

Fast forward to this spring when Denny announced that he wanted to buy some trees. He showed me the order form and I kind of shrugged it off, but then he told me we needed to place an order. $183 later, we had ordered a ton of trees. Luckily most of them went to his grandpa's farm. We only planted seven on our property. Fittingly, we planted them on Arbor Day.

The kids helped, of course! They also loved digging for worms and feeding them to our chickens.

I know we will be happy when our honeycrisp apple and peach trees become fruitful within the next few years.

Out of the mouths of babes, part 1

I am totally stealing this idea from some of my favorite blogs. It's time to start recording some of the cute things my babes say ... especially since Emma has started telling jokes! ;)

Oftentimes, Emma likes to tell me loves me more than something silly that "rhymes."

I love you more than a blimp, dimp, gimp.

The other night when she was watching TV in our bedroom, she ran out to me in the living room and said, "This is one promise you must keep. You need to record the new Doc McStuffins next Monday."

This morning Emma said, "Maybe this weekend our entire family can go out to eat at a restarnaut (more like astronaut than restaurant)."

And then there's Colt. He still often talks gibberish, which I love, but he is starting to say more and more. One of his current favorites is, "Hey!" It's adorable!

Also, one of his constant demands is for "chocolate milk."

Finally if Denny isn't home or out with us, he constantly says, "Where's daddy?"

I love them to pieces!

I finished

Tomorrow will mark two weeks since I presented my capstone project and completed a master's degree. I thought I would feel so overjoyed, but that has yet to happen. I was so anxious due to the way that day went and purely exhausted. To top it off, I got sick last week, and I'm fighting a cold (thanks, Colt Buddy) this week.

I told my dear friend that it felt like I limped over the finish line. This semester was the hardest by far. And now, now who knows. When I set out to get my degree, it was to attain something greater professionally, but now I have doubts about getting too ambitious. I really want to focus on my children. Now, hang with me for a second.

I don't plan on being a stay-at-home-mom (though I would love it). I just don't want to take on a job that goes too far beyond 40+ hours on a regular basis. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a Girl Scout leader someday. I would love a little flexibility in a job where I feel appreciated. But is that too much to ask? I'm completely serious.

Last night, I prayed for the right opportunity to present itself. I feel a little desperate since there is no clear-cut path to what could be next. I just need to take one day at a time and remember that change doesn't happen overnight.

As far as finishing my degree, I am hoping the elation comes in a few weeks when I actually walk. I picked up my cap and gown today.