Thoughts on parenting

As the weeks—and more likely—days pass by, I find myself most worried about the longstanding effects I will have on my baby girl. Not about making sure she is fed, bathed, diapered and safe, but how will my words and actions affect her as she grows up.

I can probably mostly blame my extreme sensitivity on this … I mean I can remember things that those who love me most said to me when I was very young that really hurt (and I don’t mean hateful comments or anything … just words spoken out of frustration). How do I protect her from that same hurt? How will I be able to ensure that she knows how much I love her when life gets the best of me; when I lose my temper because of dumb things; when life just seems overwhelming?

Like in Juno, where her dad tells her he thought she was smarter than that … his disapproval really hurt her and she was a teenager… and fictional at that.

She’s not even here yet and I find myself already thinking about how I need to make better financial decisions so I can give her the best of everything—very materialistic, I know … but do children really grasp why their friends have better things than them? I just want her to be happy at any cost.

I guess I just have to love her unconditionally and demonstrate the true value of love. And when I make one mistake, I have to brush it aside and try better. I just want to be a good mom—no; the best mom. And of course, I want Denny to be the best dad, but I’m not as worried about him … he’s pretty great at loving people unconditionally … I mean, he married me, right?

Michigan shower

This past weekend was wonderful ... and exhausting! My mom came in on Thursday and we had a great night. We watched Jenny play softball, went out to eat and even played Mario Cart on the Wii.

On Friday, Mom and I ran some errands in the morning and got back in time for the TV repair guy to come. We started cleaning ... when I say "we," I really mean Mom. She was great ... cleaning the bathrooms and everything. Then Jeremy came over and helped me get the basement in order. I was astonished by how much we accomplished!

Saturday was my Michigan shower and it was wonderful! So many people came and truly spoiled us with presents. It was so amazing to see all my friends and Denny's family. Debbie and Alicia did such a great job and I am so thankful to them.

After the shower, Mom, Jenny and I headed to Marshall to eat dinner with Jeremy and listen to a little music in the downtown area. Mom left pretty early on Sunday and Denny and I just took it easy all day - that was the first time in weeks that we have done that and it was glorious!

Exhausted

Moving into a new home late in pregnancy really is crazy … and not just for me … Denny has had to work overtime to accomplish things I can’t help with … like painting everything! He has done an amazing job and is almost done … I lost count of how many cans of paint we purchased, but I think it was around 15 … seriously, it may have been more! Anyway, we are getting closer to returning to normalcy … one downer … the bulb in our TV went out on Saturday morning.

Literally the day after DISH came to install HD for us … we have to wait until Friday to get it back up and running. So no All-Star game viewing in HD … at least it’s covered by our warranty!

My mom is coming on Thursday and I can’t wait! I want to get a lot accomplished before she comes, but she is practically begging me to let her help clean, so I will probably take her up on it!
We have to make a big push to have the house presentable by Saturday because Debbie and Alicia are throwing me a baby shower and we really want everyone to be able to see the new place. I really don’t know how we will accomplish this, but we’ll do the best we can.

Indiana weekend

We traveled to Indiana the last weekend in June. After a slow start due to Denny’s truck breaking down on his way home from work, we eventually made it and only about an hour later than what we had originally planned. As I pulled up to my parent’s home, I saw Bobby playing outside and my heart swelled with bliss. I have the cutest nephew and niece!

On Saturday we mostly just hung out … watched Bobby play in the pool, played hillbilly golf, went to church, out to eat and then came home and played with water balloons. It was one of the best days I can remember in some time! Just a fun time with the entire family!

Early on Sunday morning, I woke up because my back was killing me. Mom, Jeremy, Jenny and Riley were all awake and hanging out in the living room. Jeremy eventually fell asleep, Jenny went to take a shower, I was dozing off on the couch and my mom had gotten sweet little Riley to fall back asleep. She asked me to take her so she could get back to work in the kitchen. Riley and I slept on the couch for quite a while … it was so sweet! And while she was laying on me, Baby Tison started kicking like never before … it was so amazing! Then when Joe, Kelly and Bobby got up, Bobby wanted to sit by me, too. So sweet … I love those kids!!

After a slow morning, the day went fast – too fast! I got so many nice things at the shower and I got to see some friends I had not seen in ages and all the relatives. It was fun to watch the little ones play together. Denny and I had to leave early so we could get back and he could find a vehicle to borrow, but it was just an amazing weekend. I can’t wait until we are all able to get together again!

An update

I suck at blogging. I really, really do want to get better, though. Since I posted last, so much has changed! It makes me sad that I didn’t write about it. Here is my attempt to chronicle the past couple of months.

Most of May – waiting to hear if our home loan went through … it was a little scary for a few reasons, but mostly because Denny has been a victim of identity theft in the past.

May 27 – Around 5 p.m. we got a call from the bank to say that everything was approved and we would close as soon as possible.

June 3 – We signed and signed and signed … and got the keys to our new home! That process amazed me … such a big commitment, but I think we did the right thing! We met the friends of the previous owner (who are taking care of the estate); they are such a cute, older couple. The woman said she was so happy to see a young couple like us get the home. We went to the home that night. Denny started painting; Jenny and I started to tear down wallpaper.

June 6 – We left for our annual camping/fishing vacation in northern Michigan. I was miserable on the way up. I had a cold that Denny had passed to me and I just couldn’t get comfortable in the car. I was 30 weeks pregnant, which didn’t help. To top it off, it turned from bright and sunny to cold and rainy by the time we got up north.

June 7-9 – The weather was awful – rain and cold, but the fishing was great! Denny caught a monster and actually everyone ended up catching at least one big fish. We also slept great in the truck camper and just had a good time with most of Denny’s family.

June 10-12 – Continued the vacation and it got much better and more enjoyable, but the new home that needed so much work continued to loom in our minds. We decided to cut the trip short and head back to work on our home.

June 13-20 – Our days were mixed with work and working on the house. Denny painted most of the house and we tried to prepare to move. We also had great help from Dennis, Karen, Travis and Chad during this time!

Also, at my 32-week appointment, the doctor said the baby’s head was down and she probably weighed around four pounds. Everything seems great! I definitely feel bigger … it’s much harder to get up and my feet are swollen. Otherwise, I feel pretty good. I haven’t been sleeping long hours even when I can sleep in, but I have been getting rest.

June 21 – We moved all the big stuff with the help of many – Jenny, Aaron, Collin, Alicia, Luke, Travis and Chad! We still have a very long way to go, but we’re getting there.

Last night we slept in the new house for the first time. It was different, but good! We’re so happy to have a place that is truly ours! Now we just need to completely finish the move and get ready for this baby!

House shopping

With all this baby talk, it's easy for me to forget other exciting news in our lives. This past week we put in a bid on a house ... they countered ... we countered ... they countered and today we agreed! So if all goes well, we should close before the end of May! I'm still in shock and so happy that this worked in our favor ... it's just such a great time to buy right now with the low interest rates and the huge tax rebate!

24 weeks

Time is flying! I can't believe how fast this second trimester is going. I still feel great ... I've been eating like a hog and the scale is starting to reflect it! I really need to break down and buy some more maternity clothes ... especially camis. All of my tank tops keep coming up over my stomach (of course I'm wearing shirts on top of them!) and it's so frustrating. I just hate spending money on clothes I will use for such a short period of time. Oh well!

I have been feeling our little girl move around more and I love it! Even when it's 3 or 4 in the morning ... it's a relief to know she is moving ... especially considering that I always wake up on my back. I just can't sleep well on my side, but I really do fall asleep that way!