Month two

You are already accumulating a wide range of nicknames, mostly from me. Pumpkin, sweet pea, cutie pie, Emma Claire Bear … that’s my current fav.

I will probably say this every month, but I can’t believe how fast you are growing! You are so close to rolling over … just a little more and you would have it. Speaking of which, you continue to get stronger and stronger every day. You are starting to show an interest in some of your toys. I think your favorite is the doll from Grandma Spencer!

You experienced some more firsts this month. You attended your first wedding – my friend, Betsy got married in Kokomo, so you also got to visit your Grandma and Grandpa Spencer’s house for the first time. You did so great on both the car rides there and back.

You have also gotten to enjoy spending a lot of time with Grandma Bendele and Aunt Alicia. They have been taking great care of you since I returned to work. It makes me so sad to leave you each morning, but I am so comforted in knowing that you are well cared for and loved greatly.

We are looking forward to the next couple of months. Your daddy is going to start hunting soon, which will give us plenty of time to cuddle. And then the holiday season will be here before we know it. Your daddy and I are so excited to share our traditions with you and probably begin a few.

Though we’ve only known for two months, you have brought so much joy and love into our lives, and we are thankful for you!

Returning to work

I like to prove people wrong. That’s just the gut-wrenching truth. So the thought of returning to work and leaving Emma wasn’t hard for me … at first. Everyone told me it would be horrible and one of the most difficult things I would go through as a first-time mom, but I just nodded and thought, I’ll prove them wrong.

Well, they were right. Every single person who told me it would be hard and I would struggle with the decision and try to figure out a way (financially) to stay home with her was so dead on.
The first time I cried was five days before returning to work. I was alone with Emma waiting for Denny to get home and I just lost it. There were some serious sobs in this initial cry.

The morning I took her to Debbie’s, I was inside talking and cried, but only a little. Debbie was great. She knew I was about to lose it, so we changed the subject. Side note: I really appreciate it when people do that; I’m a very emotional person and I wish I could control my outbursts better, so it’s so nice when people recognize that.

The next time I cried was in front of three co-workers – they made the mistake of just talking about my sweet baby girl. The final time was around noon when I was talking to my supervisor. She let me leave two hours early, so maybe crying isn’t always all that bad.

I went home and held Emma for four straight hours. That seemed to do the trick. I want my daughter to feel protected, loved and well cared for … all of which can still be achieved without me quitting my job. I love Emma more than I ever knew possible, but I also love working – the feeling of accomplishment. We also need my income and the incredible health insurance my job provides.

I'm sure this will continue to be a daily struggle, but I am hoping it gets easier.

Emma’s first month

It’s hard to believe a month has already passed! Emma is such a little sweetie.

• She loves to cuddle
• Holds her head up really well
• Does okay with tummy time for a little bit
• She doesn’t cry through bath time anymore … only when we take her out of the tub!
• Sleeps a good five-six hours most nights
• Seems to be growing at an alarming rate
  

She experienced a lot of firsts (of course!):

• Doctor's visit at one week - she did wonderful and everything checked out great!
• Watched Daddy play softball at Waldron
• Mini road trip to visit Great-Grandma Maenhout
• Went shopping and out to eat
• Went to church

I love her so much! She is just such a good baby … she does know how to let us know when she isn’t happy, though! She has a great set of lungs and gets a little impatient if she has to wait to eat. I love her to pieces and I’m trying to soak up every moment I have with her!

Emma's birth

I don’t really think I will ever forget this experience, but just in case, below is the story detailing how Emma Claire Tison entered the world.

Tuesday, Aug. 18 - I woke up at 3:30 a.m. to use the bathroom. I realized I was having contractions, which made me so happy! I was already three days past my due date. I decided to watch some TV and time the contractions. They became fairly regular, but not super painful. I decided to take a shower before Denny woke up for work around 5 a.m.

When Denny stumbled into the living room, I told him I was having contractions. We decided he should stay home with me just in case. We went about our early morning … breakfast, Sportscenter, I even folded some of the baby’s laundry (at this point we still had not decided between Sadie Mae and Emma Claire).

Around 8:30 a.m., we decided to head to the hospital. I checked in and they hooked me up to the monitor. My contractions were about six minutes apart, but I was only dilated one centimeter. After an hour or two, they had me walk around. We also went and grabbed Subway during this break. I came back to the hospital after an hour, they checked me again. I had not made any progress so they sent me home. I was disappointed to say the least.

I tried to sleep when we got home, but I was not able to sleep through the contractions. We called our families … well, I only called Jenny because I didn’t really want to tell anyone until I was admitted to the hospital, but she had figured out that I wasn’t at work by this time.

My contractions began to get more intense, but not any closer together. By about 5:30 p.m., I was in some pain. I called the hospital and they advised me to come in. We got there around 6:30 p.m. and I was dilated 1.5-2 centimeters, so they admitted me!! I was so relieved.
The contractions were pretty painful, but I couldn’t receive an epidural until I was dilated four centimeters, so I tried walking, sitting, even soaking in the whirlpool tub, but nothing seemed to help.

Friday, Aug. 19 – 12 a.m. – 2 a.m. – The contractions continued. Finally at two, I called the nurse and asked her to check me gain. I was FINALLY at four centimeters. Once I got the epidural, I was so happy and relieved!! I slept for two hours.

The nurse came in around 4 a.m. to tell me they were going to break my water and give me some pitocin.

It was around this time that we finally made the decision on her name. Denny actually just let me decide.

The contractions returned and it seemed like in no time I was ready to push. I pushed for an hour and 15 minutes. The doctor came in and performed the episiotomy. Emma seemed to come out in a huge gush and I felt instant relief.

She was beautiful from the very beginning. I was so astounded by her beauty … even the nurses said she was beautiful! She weighed 8 lbs, 1 oz, and measured 21 inches. Her birth time was 6:52 a.m. Jenny was waiting at the hospital when she was born and Debbie arrived very shortly afterward. I nursed her right away and then the nurses whisked her away to give her a bath before Jenny could hold her!

That day was amazing. Debbie stayed for a little while and then we had a break before the influx of visitors. Alicia came in the early afternoon and then there was a steady stream – Grandpa Tison, Grandma Spencer, Jeremy, Jenny and Aaron, Dawn and Lance, Travis and Chad.

We left the hospital on Friday around noon. The next couple of days are a blur of sleeplessness and emotion. We felt very blessed from the beginning and continue to be in awe of our perfect little girl!

She's here!

Emma Claire Tison arrived at 6:52 a.m. on Wednesday, Aug. 19. She weighed 8 lbs, 1 oz and measured 21 inches. She is beautiful!

Thoughts on parenting

As the weeks—and more likely—days pass by, I find myself most worried about the longstanding effects I will have on my baby girl. Not about making sure she is fed, bathed, diapered and safe, but how will my words and actions affect her as she grows up.

I can probably mostly blame my extreme sensitivity on this … I mean I can remember things that those who love me most said to me when I was very young that really hurt (and I don’t mean hateful comments or anything … just words spoken out of frustration). How do I protect her from that same hurt? How will I be able to ensure that she knows how much I love her when life gets the best of me; when I lose my temper because of dumb things; when life just seems overwhelming?

Like in Juno, where her dad tells her he thought she was smarter than that … his disapproval really hurt her and she was a teenager… and fictional at that.

She’s not even here yet and I find myself already thinking about how I need to make better financial decisions so I can give her the best of everything—very materialistic, I know … but do children really grasp why their friends have better things than them? I just want her to be happy at any cost.

I guess I just have to love her unconditionally and demonstrate the true value of love. And when I make one mistake, I have to brush it aside and try better. I just want to be a good mom—no; the best mom. And of course, I want Denny to be the best dad, but I’m not as worried about him … he’s pretty great at loving people unconditionally … I mean, he married me, right?

Michigan shower

This past weekend was wonderful ... and exhausting! My mom came in on Thursday and we had a great night. We watched Jenny play softball, went out to eat and even played Mario Cart on the Wii.

On Friday, Mom and I ran some errands in the morning and got back in time for the TV repair guy to come. We started cleaning ... when I say "we," I really mean Mom. She was great ... cleaning the bathrooms and everything. Then Jeremy came over and helped me get the basement in order. I was astonished by how much we accomplished!

Saturday was my Michigan shower and it was wonderful! So many people came and truly spoiled us with presents. It was so amazing to see all my friends and Denny's family. Debbie and Alicia did such a great job and I am so thankful to them.

After the shower, Mom, Jenny and I headed to Marshall to eat dinner with Jeremy and listen to a little music in the downtown area. Mom left pretty early on Sunday and Denny and I just took it easy all day - that was the first time in weeks that we have done that and it was glorious!