Wine and Canvas

I’ve seen photos people post of Wine and Canvas, and I always thought it looked like fun, so when the Beach Bar started hosting some, I signed up along with Jenny, Alicia, Debbie and the Shaw ladies.

We had a lot of fun painting for a few hours. This is something Emma would love! One day I will do a class with her.

It was pretty easy to follow along with the instructor, and she was so nice and helpful walking around and helping. My painting turned out pretty poor compared to others (ahem, Annie and Alicia), but Emma loved it! It is now hanging in her bedroom.

Blah!

Sometimes the right song to describe how you feel comes on the radio at just the right moment. That’s what happened as I drove home on Monday night trying to wrap my mind around the revelations that were revealed that morning. 

Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that I’ll protect you
from all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it in my face

Everyone is changing
there's no one left that's real
to make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel
cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i will save you
from all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you when to runaway
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you when to runaway

This pain you gave to me

You take it all
You take it all away...
This pain you gave to me
You take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me

Other than the opening lyrics, the song doesn’t relate to why I was upset (or whatever emotion I was). I hate writing about how unhappy I feel because of my job. I have to figure out a way to center my focus on what’s really important, which is another reason I loved hearing this song. It reminded me of when Denny and I were dating. Those years might be some of my favorite. They might have even been magical. 

Shortly after the happiest moments of our lives—at the time—when Denny asked me to marry him, we climbed over some tall hurdles. Now, we’re on a smoother track, but those early hurdles certainly made us weary. I’m trying to gain my second wind—to re-motivate myself to go after what I want in the right ways. I’m trying to remember how to forget about any crappiness I feel from my job and to simply love Denny and my kids, and to covet my precious time with them.

In the end, I don’t want any success if it means I have sacrificed my integrity. I need to remember that in the fleeting moments when I feel walked-on, overlooked and underappreciated. I have some really fun updates to share, too. Sorry for the bleak one!

Visiting Jac's family

My best friend, Jaclyn, moved away from Michigan quite a few years ago—first to Seattle to complete an internship. She then moved back for a short period, but has lived in Indianapolis for a few years. I had not visited her place outside of Michigan and have felt terribly about it, so I decided to take the kids and go! It’s fun because somehow we are now both married with two kids! Where has the time gone?

We got there on Friday evening and enjoyed a nice quiet evening eating pizza, catching up and playing with Jac and Carolyn twin boys. Emma especially loved the babies!

The next morning, we went to the Indianapolis Zoo. I love this zoo because it is a perfect size for smaller children. There’s a great mix of animals and they had a splash pad. I think the babies slept through most of our visit, but it was so much fun.

 

After the zoo, we hit up Steak n Shake, where “kids eat free” on weekends. Love that! The rest of the afternoon, we just relaxed and I tried to make sure Colt didn’t run into the road. We are so used to living in the country that the kids thought nothing of chasing balls into the street. Yikes!

We got up kind of early the next morning and ate donuts before we said our goodbyes. The visit was short, but so great! I love keeping in touch with them.

We spent the rest of Sunday and Monday visiting my parents and celebrating my mom’s birthday. What a great way to kick off summer!

Emma goes to the dentist, graduates preschool

I cried like a baby. Okay, I didn't actually cry, but thinking about how fast she is growing makes me a little sad. Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly proud of her, too. She has a big heart, more empathy than a lot of the adults I know, and loves to explore nature.

Just yesterday, I had an empty water bottle with worms in it on my kitchen counter. My kitchen counter. Where I butter the toast and spread the PB&J. :) I love her! She's also quite the planner. A couple of her friends came over yesterday, and beforehand, she told me all of the things she wanted to do with them. 1. Play with water balloons. 2. Jump on the trampoline. 3. Paint. I nixed number 3, but they sure had fun with the water and the trampoline and the trashing of the house. Seriously, I love her sooooo, so, so, so, sooooo much!

Okay, dentist! She asked me if there would be coloring books in the waiting room and stickers like in Dora's book. I had no clue, but the dentist did not disappoint! She colored while we waited our turn and got to pick out two stickers after we were done.

I went first, and our dental hygienist explained everything she was doing to me, so Emma would feel comfortable. When it was her turn, she laid down and did perfect!! Also, they only noted that she just had a little bit of plague, but nothing serious. Yes! Boy, was I relieved. Brushing teeth can sometimes be a battle at our house.

We then stopped for a quick breakfast (donuts, of course!), and then I got her to preschool. She graduated, but the parents weren't invited or anything. We did get a cute picture of Emma in a cap and gown.

I'd say she had a pretty great day! 

Before you ask ...

I often wonder what others think when they come over and our house is a mess or even just a little messy. One detail I don't think I'll ever figure out is what to do with our shoes. Right now, I shove them under the desk area in our kitchen, so they are mostly out of sight (that is, unless there are so many that they are spilling over, which is actually the case today).

When I was visiting my sister-in-law's house recently, I noticed that they keep their shoes in a cute bin by the door. At first, I thought, what a great way to contain them. But then, I had a creepy feeling that I could never follow a similar routine.

It dawned on me later that those shoes all thrown in a pile like that reminded me of my visit to Washington D.C. when I was a high school senior. More specifically, it reminded me of the piles of shoes (and piles of all sorts of things like eye glasses) that were on display in the Holocaust Museum.

Sorry if that sounds morbid, but it's a mental picture that will never leave my mind. When I visited Prague in college, we took a day trip to one of the concentration camps in the Czech Republic. Both experiences made me feel somber. It's so difficult to wrap my mind around how human beings can be so cruel. I can't even imagine.

This morning I read an article about a memorial in Hiroshima that is located in the place where the atomic bomb was dropped. I was intrigued because not many talk (in this country, at least) about the final death toll ... 135,000. What a horrific and shocking figure. I didn't take the time to look up how many people were lost in the war total, but I just feel so at a loss for words.

I never asked my parents about that war (or any wars,  really), but I hope my kids come to me if they have questions about this war. I hope they come to me with all sorts of questions. I have no idea what I will say to them, but I can share about ways to combat some of the hate that started those wars (and other wars that are still going on all over the world) in the first place even on the smallest level.

So, please don't hassle me about the shoes. (Or my messy house that matter! We live there!)