False alarm

Emma will not be a big sister in September. This baby would have been due on our anniversary. For the first time in many, many months, I was a little disappointed. Usually I feel relief during this time of the month.

I didn't realize how much I wanted another baby. Maybe it's time to actually start thinking about another baby. Who knows. Then again, I have felt very overwhelmed on more than one occassion this weekend. I even considered calling my sister to see if she could watch Emma for a few hours just to give me some relief. Instead, I made Emma lay down for a much-needed nap. I am sure that once she wakes up, we will both be happier.

Now, I am trying to find some motivation to either work out or do some work-work. Both need to be done. I think I'll go for the workout first. Maybe it will motivate me to get more done and maybe it will make me a little happier. We'll see.

For now, I will continue to enjoy my sweetie.

Relinquishing control

Sometimes it takes a big whack in the face to be reminded who is really in control.

About six years ago, I was driving home on a January afternoon. Denny and I were freshly engaged, and I was living in the Reed Road house with a couple of friends. I had to run to Meijer after work, so I was driving home on 127 when I got the scare of my life.

I hadn't realized there was black ice, and my car started to fishtail. My car then turned into the next lane and I closed my eyes because I really didn't want to see myself crash.

As corny as this is going to sound, Jesus definitely took the wheel.

My car passed both lanes, the medium and the other two lanes, but I safely stopped on the curb completing a perfect 180. I was even able to drive right back on the road, take an exit and get back on way home.

It was the first time I actually felt God communicating with me ... letting me know everything would work out. There was so much hurt going on within me at that time due to what my family was going through, and I really needed that wake-up call.

Fast forward ...

Lately I have worrying a lot about our finances. We are doing fine. I just want to have more of a cushion ... just in case.

I just don't think God works in "just in case" situations. He just takes care of us no matter what, right?

So, anyway, right after Christmas, I picked up some much needed medication late. Who knew Target's Pharmacy closed at 7 p.m. during the week?

Lately, I have been feeling off ... super tired, crampy, irritable, etc.

I am wondering if this is God's way of saying, you think you can't afford your life as it is? Ha! Let's throw in another baby! Who knows ... I'm actually very much at peace and would be absolutely thrilled to have another baby.

I should know more by Friday ... when I will go to the store for a test if needed.

2011 resolutions

I am hesitant to place definite terms on my resolutions this year. I think this is the time in my life when I really need to take control. Stop saying things and thinking, at least my intentions are good. Intentions are not enough. Action is what speaks volumes ... so my resolutions will now be a list of more and less ...

This year I hope to ...

+ Read more
- Eat less (junk)
+ Exercise more
+ Write more
+ Kiss more
- Mope less
- Spend less
- Consume less
+ Drink more (water)
- Watch less (tv)
+ Play more (with Emma)
+ Laugh more
+ Visit more (with family and friends)
+ Plan more
+ Cook more
+ Clean more
+ Show appreciation more

Wow ... that is quite the list! It looks a little daunting, but I am hoping to just take one day at time, and if I have an off day, I will just start over the next morning.

So far, this year has been pretty great. I think every year from now on will feel the same to me. 2011 has filled me with a special kind of hope for the future!

No plumber needed here

After I gave Emma a bath on Thursday night, I could not get the drain plug to pop up to release the water. I kept pushing on it as hard as I could, but nothing would get it to pop, so I just left it. Denny tried to push on it later (after all, he's about 100x stronger than me) ... not even he could get it.

On Friday morning, I was a little desperate, so I took a shower standing in Emma's bath water from the night before ... it was freezing!

By Saturday morning, I decided I needed to take action. Denny was gone, so I got a screwdriver and took off the cap thingy and tried to wiggle it, still nothing. I then took a wire hanger and jammed it down as far as I could until the plug popped up enough for me to pry it open. I pulled it all the way out and got more than I bargained for in the form of a huge hair clump. I must shed more than any animal none to man.

I felt pretty accomplished. Emma got to take a bath and I got to shower without standing in a tub of water. It was a good day!

Parenting

I've been up since 2 a.m. Emma has a fever ... the thermometer (under the arm) got to 102 before Emma made me stop taking it. She is uncomfortable and it stinks!

Right now I am awake thinking about all of the things I need to do at work today. I am supposed to make a big announcement today, and with that comes several elements - an email, posting a news release with images, sending out a news release to media, etc. There are also a couple other projects I really wanted to finish. I am going to wait another hour and a half and hopefully drive in, schedule all of these things and get back home before Denny has to leave for work.

Sickness never comes when it's convenient. Mostly, I'm just disappointed because Emma finally started to feel better last week when she was home with me. On her second day back at daycare she got a fever.

I am hoping she starts feeling better and can get plenty of rest. In the meantime, I think I'll take advantage of this extra cuddling!

Christmas 2010

Better late than never? No, but it will have to do in this case!

Our Christmas was great! Hectic, of course, but well worth the exhaustion.

My parents, brother, sister and her boyfriend came over on the 23rd. We celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve by lounging, cooking food, going to the children's mass (Emma lasted about 25 minutes ... not bad) and opening presents.

On Christmas morning, I got up at 5:30 to get showered and all ready for when Emma awoke. I waited. Denny got up and started breakfast. We waited some more. We were anticipating Emma crying to let us know she was awake (she was asleep on our bed). Instead, the little stinker ran into the kitchen! It was great! Denny then carried her into the living room where she spotted her new slide instantly! It was so much fun! She then opened her sled, doll, coloring books, books and pajamas.

We then headed to Debbie's where we ate more food, opened more presents, took more pictures and just relaxed for a few hours ... before heading to Dennis'.

We again ate, opened gifts and visited before heading home to enjoy dinner with my parents and Jeremy before they left.

It was exhausting ... the kind of exhausting that doesn't feel exhausting until you sit down and realize just how tired you are! We were all tired. It was a great time!

2010 in review

January

• Denny began another year with the Nature Conservancy (fourth?)
• Had my gallbladder removed
• Denny and Chad came in second place in a big fishing tournament

February

• Visited Grandma one last time
• My first-owned car died
• Emma was baptized

March

• After 19 years, Grandma joined Grandpa in heaven

April

• Denny turned 28
• Spent Easter in Indiana where Emma met her cousins for the first time
• Purchased the Equinox (or secured the loan, rather)
• Started playing in a volleyball league (met some amazing women and enjoy this evening each week)

May

• Got sick, spent two weeks in bed
• Realized how amazing my families are as they took care of Emma and me since Denny was out of town working during most of these days

June

• Celebrated our first year as homeowners (we didn’t really celebrate, but it’s exciting)
• Started my seventh year as an employee of SAU

July

• Hosted a Fourth of July party
• Emma started walking
• Went camping for the first since Emma’s birth – challenging? You better believe it!

August

• My best friend moved back to Michigan
• Emma turned one (where did the year go?)
• Threw a bridal shower for Alicia

September

• Started my master’s degree
• Celebrated five years of marriage
• Alicia and Luke got married

October

• I turned 29
• Emma was a gnome for Halloween … she trick-or-treated at Grandpa Tison’s

November

• Went to Indiana for Thanksgiving for the first time since our marriage … finally!

December

• Finished my first master’s class … excited to continue!
• Celebrated Christmas with my family on Christmas Eve and Denny’s families on Christmas
• Rang out 2010 at home surrounded by lots of family and friends … Emma woke up for the ball drop

I am still happy to see 2010 come to a close, but as I look at this month-by-month list of events, I can’t help but smile. I am truly blessed and surrounded by caring, loving people. I have a beautiful, healthy daughter and a loving husband who I get to go home to every night. We have a beautiful home to keep us warm and reliable vehicles … more than enough food. We truly are blessed and excited to see what 2011 holds.