Emma turned two!

Exactly one month ago today, my sweet little baby turned two! My parents came for the weekend and on Sunday, we threw a smallish party for her with our families and couple close friends.

We went with a princess theme. She loved the balloon Jenny picked out for her. She did great blowing out her candles and opening her presents. It was a very fun day and celebration of such a sweet girl!

Some of her favorite gifts were shoes, baby doll car seat, pack-n-play and bed and clothes!

Today, I took her for her two-year checkup. She is still very tall ... 37.5 inches (97th percentile), and she weighs 30.4 pounds (80th percentile). I don't remember about her head measurements, but she got a clean bill of health.

At two, Emma can count to nine ... then she goes back to two and counts to nine ... she will do this over and over again. She also talks in full sentences and other people can understand her.

She also loves to pretend ... she puts her baby dolls to bed, feeds them, cleans them, etc. She also loves to color and read. Her little personality is coming out more and more and I love it!

She is really getting interested in potty training, but that deserves a post all to itself, which I promise to write soon.

I'm really looking forward to what the next year holds for Emma. She makes me so proud and happy!

An update on life

After I miscarried in May, I was so sad. As each day passed and I saw sweet Emma and all the blessings in my life, I felt much better about things. I knew our day would come to welcome another child if that was what was meant to be.

With that in mind, I waited for my period. I waited and waited and waited. I took a pregnancy test on day 28 ... it was negative. So I waited two more days and retested.

I was shocked to see that familiar double line. I had no idea it would happen so soon, but I was elated for about a week. Then I began to panic a little. What was I thinking? What if I miscarried again? You know, all the crazy thoughts my mind could conjure up.

I went to the doctor around what I was guessing to be the eight-week mark. My visit was horrible. They didn't give me a pregnancy test and said they wouldn't call this a pregnancy until an ultrasound could confirm it. All of this was probably logical to the medical professionals, but I was angry. Luckily, I was able to go in for an ultrasound two days later.

It was a very brief appointment. The technician immediatly pulled up the image of my sweet little baby. His/her heartbeat was in the 160s and she gave me a due date of March 1 ... one day off what I had estimated.

Today, I am 16 weeks and everything seems to be going okay. I have another ultrasound scheduled for Oct. 7, and we are excited to see the baby and find out the sex.

I have so much more to update about Emma and life in general, but I wanted to get this done first. I am busy trying to get the spare room ready for Emma and figure out how our lives will change in the winter/spring. We are so excited!

Loss

Last week ended much different than how it began. On Friday, May 20, I went home and took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I wasn't super excited at first ... I was more afraid ... of what Denny would think, of how we would afford it, etc. Once I told Denny, his excitement rubbed off on me, and my mind started planning. I began to think about things I wanted to do before January, things we would want to look for at garage sales, etc.

Last Wednesday, I started spotting and it quickly turned to heavier blood. Since then I have cried a lot, but I have also counted my blessings. Perhaps most importantly, I am hopeful for the future. I am hopeful that one day Emma will become a big sister.

As I recover emotionally, I'm trying to figure out what my body is going through. After cramping and other usual symptoms, I was pretty okay by Saturday. Very early yesterday morning I woke up with a lot of pain in my back and an urgency to run to the bathroom. The pain then felt like it was pulsing through to my rib cage ... very similar to the gallstone attack I had a year and a half ago. Since I no longer have a gallbladder, that concerned me.

I went to my doctor yesterday and she wasn't sure ... she thought maybe it was food poisoning, but she also wants me to have an ultrasound. That is scheduled for tomorrow morning. I hope it was just food poisoning. I am ready to move on emotionally, and I am so hopeful that some day I will be able to make Emma a big sister.

Easter 2011

This was one of the best Easters in my life. It ranks right up there with the one when I had chicken pox and got to spend the whole day with my mom ... when I had her all to myself!

On Good Friday, Emma slept in a little and I was able to work on one final paper I needed to turn in. Once she got up, I put the laptop and all of my books away to enjoy the morning with her. Unfortunately, Denny had to work, but Emma and I enjoyed the morning.

Since the weather was crummy, Denny came home before lunch, which worked out great. Jeremy and Jenny came over to hang out and play with Emma. I was able to finish my paper that night. On Saturday, Emma and I ran errands and then played outside for a while with Denny. That night, we died Easter eggs. I could not remember the last time I did that, but it was fun. Eventually, we are called it a night.

I woke up early on Sunday to play Easter bunny before church. Emma loved finding the eggs in the living room and looking through her basket. We then made it to church early! We were able to get a pew big enough for Debbie, Mike, Makayla, Alicia and Luke. Emma was a little angel and we were all able to enjoy the entire mass.

Afterward, everyone came over for brunch and another egg hunt for Emma. After everyone left, Denny went fishing while Emma and I took a nap. It was perfect! We missed my parents and brothers, but hopefully next year we can all be together!

Pre-Easter celebration

For about month, my mantra has been "just make it to Easter." I knew if I could balance all of my responsibilities, I would be able to enjoy Easter and a much-needed break.

I made it! I finished my last paper on Friday night/Saturday morning, and now I am free from classes until May 16. I'm so happy to have five more credits done. I also know that I will probably not take two classes at the same time again. It was a lot ... I was very burnt out.

On Saturday morning, Emma and I ran to Jackson to pick up some groceries and whatnot. I scored a body wash for Denny for $.04 ... yeah, four cents. I was so excited. It's a far cry from the extreme couponers featured on TV, but I'll take what I can get. I also saved another $16 with coupons at Meijer ... that's almost five gallons of gas. Okay, I'm done, but I was happy!

On my way home, I called my sister to tell her to sign up for Meijer Perks. We were just chatting when she asked what I had planned for the afternoon. I said probably some cleaning and getting ready for Easter. She told me she was pretty sure I was running on "mommy energy" ... I didn't think much of it. But, I think she was right. On Sunday, after church and a wonderful brunch, Emma and I took a two-hour nap. I woke up and was still so tired. That was the first nap I have taken in so long. It was the perfect treat for making it to Easter.

I will write about Easter and my one class, which has done so much good for my soul soon.

HOME.fm

Emma now fits into the cute little T-shirt Rachel from HOME.fm sent me while I was pregnant! I snapped a few pictures of her yesterday afternoon.

Long time coming

I don't remember the last time I wrote on here, but I am guessing about 12 weeks ago? I'm in week 12 of 13 for one class, and week 3 of 4 for another. I can see the light! I still have a lot of work to complete, but it's manageable.

Last week I had a breakdown at work. I think I need to pick a career where I can work mostly from home or something because no matter how hard I try or how much I prepare, people still have the ability to make me lose it. I hate this about myself to a point. I'm just super sensitive. Sometimes it backfires, but sometimes it helps me relate to others ... emphathize, etc.

For as long as I can remember, this is how I've been wired. Apparently when I was very small (maybe Emma's age), I told my dad that he hurt my feelings. There's no doubt he did although it was probably something very minor. Emma shares my sensitivity.

The episode that happened last week partially warranted a breakdown. A very false accusation was made against me. I'm lucky to have a boss who doesn't overreact (like I do!) and was able to figure out what happened, which was nothing that I did wrong, in fact. In the end, I received multiple apologies. I am still a little shaken.

I think I need a better way to relieve stress. I'm super busy right now and as much as I would like to think I do everything all the time, I can't. On Saturday, Emma and I ran a lot of errands and returned home just as it was getting nice out, so we played! After a while, I got out Emma's stroller and we walked for 30 minutes. I thought, why don't make time for this every day?? Thirty minutes is not a lot and I can do a variety of activities ... so, I'm trying to work out EVERY day for 30 minutes or more. Yesterday, we walked again and then worked in the yard. I am hoping this excitement will help me relieve some stress, feel better physically and give some energy.

That's all I have time for right now! I promise to return soon!